Maodas Foundation seeks Counselling, Therapy and Appeasement for Converts Feeling Intimidated by Natives

The next time your eyes go moist on account of the emotions stirred by Bjorka Dud‘s tear-jerking debates, or your Macaulayman’s heart swoons over Prawn Ray‘s burrasahib-with-a-native-tinged diction on New Delhi Televangelism (NDTV), you may want to think again. A Maodas Foundation study has found evidence linking the prevalence of Saffronophobia to consumption of content produced by United News Traders India Ltd (UNTIL).

“In a nutshell, Saffronophobia consists of acute fear and anxiety triggered by one or more factors comprising native cultural symbols, or the sight of unreached natives following the path of the devil, for example”, according to the reputed blond, blue-eyed German-Norwegian psychiatrist, Dr. Madhaus Macaulaysson, 54, who led the study across 666 subjects.

According to the Macaulaysson study, people across all professions are at heightened increased risk if they regularly consume UNTIL-produced content.

  • Jesubhai Prabhuputra, 38, from Gujarat, a convert for Christ, has been an avid church goer since undergoing a miracle as a child by recovering from a nasty cold and cough. After lightning recently struck the church he attends [1], Prabhuputra started having nightmares of Hindu gods striking thunder and inciting Hindu natives to attack him with a rain of Swastikas and tridents. “I have flashbacks to my past as an unreached native. The overtly majoritarian-themed Ramayana and Mahabharata serials from the 1980s showed false tribal gods striking down enemies with lightning while laughing and guffawing vicariously. As a child, I was under the Devil’s influence and used to watch these demonic shows with my family until I saw the Light of God,” admits Prabhuputra.
  • Caesar Roberto, a retired policeman, echoed similar symptoms of acute anxiety on seeing the Om symbol in front of a Hindu temple thronged by exotic packs of natives chanting and clanging cymbals. Says Roberto: “I chased criminals during my career in the police, but now I feel intimidated, as if I am on a hit-list.”
  • Retired navel-gazer Rear Admiral Goodman K Isaac claims he often wakes up from nightmares of being at sea with Hindutva pirates throwing Swastikas on rope-ends to anchor onto his ship. “When gazing at my navel, there is a constant sinking feeling that percolates through. Lying in bed, I am often fidgeting from side-to-side and constantly watching my starboard, port and stern” says the gazetted navel officer (sic) with a tinge of irony.

Both Isaac and Roberto blame India’s majoritarian culture for fostering this climate of fear. Says Isaac: “In my locality, several new churches have come up, all dedicated to the One and Only God and His Son. However, an old temple persists in the midst of our Holy churches. Is it fair to intimidate our brand new churches with an ancient temple where people pray to not one, not two, but up to 330 million fearsome, armed tribal deities that even include uppity female goddesses and wild animals like monkeys, elephants and lions?”

In response to the Macaulaysson study, the Maodas Foundation’s Grievance Appeasement Group (GAG) is in the process of setting up a fund to provide psychiatric treatment and counselling support for Saffronophobes.

Grievance Appeasement Group demands moratorium on airing documentaries on Evolution

GAG is campaigning for a block on all TV and online content referring to Prehistoric science, to prevent the occurrence of symptoms among several groups, such as those who propagate Intelligent Design and others such as the All India High-Fidelity Shariah Compliance Board (AIHFSCB) who oppose Evolution. Meanwhile, Maodas Foundation Fellow Prof. DN Jhatka is leading a politburo audit on Darwin’s theory of Evolution for suspected violations of Dialectical Materialism.

“Why is my community being victimized? I was born of sin by Our Father’s Intelligent Design. That is my personal belief,” says Rear Admiral Goodman K Isaac, further adding “I saw the documentaries showing apes as our ancestors, with ferocious gigantic creatures living millions of years ago. As with the number of gods and goddesses in temples, I find the concept of ‘millions and billions of years ago’ extremely terrifying, as do some other communities. What is the need to unnecessarily provoke us by propagating such false and deluded myths?”

References:

[1] http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/lightning-strikes-a-church-in-gujarat-hindutva-groups-alleged-to-be-behind-it/

A Redprint for the Revolutionary Government of India led by Supreme Leader Arvind

Comrade Arvind,

On behalf of the Maodas Foundation, I offer you a bloody Red Salute on your victory in the Delhi elections.

In anticipation of the 2014 general elections, we mandate the following appointments with respect to the Revolutionary Government to be headed by you. We expect your full compliance with the following. Subsequent appointments shall be communicated in the future.

Central Committee Appointments and Anointments

Supreme Leader: Com. Arvind
Great Leader: Com. Yogendra
Dear Leader: Com. Prashant
Honorable Leaders: Com. Sonia, Com. Rahul, Com. Priyanka, Com. Robert
Assistant Revolutionary Operators (AROs): Com. Wagle, Com. Ashutosh, Com. Abhinandan

Portfolio Allocations (preliminary list)

Com. Prashant:
Bureau for Revolutionary Order & Stability (to be renamed from the “Ministry of Home Affairs” of the erstwhile quasi-Bourgeois dispensation)
Bureau for National Disintegration & Revolutionary Secession (new ministry to be created to fulfill the demands of People of the Revolution in the Indian Mujahideen, Lashkar-e-Toiba, Jaish-e-Mohammad, National Socialist Council of Nagaland, CPIML)

Com. Yogendra:
Bureau for Mass Brainwashing & Mind Control (formerly “Information & Broadcasting Ministry” )

Com. Aruna:
Bureau of Bourgeois Tax Collection (formerly “Ministry of Finance”). Com. Bidwai shall serve as Principal Advisor (Exchequer Bankruptcy and Poverty Redistribution) to Com. Aruna.

Com. Mallika:
Bureau for Promotion of Revolutionary Virtue and Suppression of Revanchist Vice (to be renamed from “Ministry of Culture” )

Com. Medha:
Bureau of Socialist Science & Research in Stone-Age Technology (renamed from “Ministry of Science and Technology” )

Com. Arundhati:
Given the somewhat complex and volatile nature of providing Com. Arundhati with a portfolio, we propose that she be appointed Permanent Revolutionary Representative to the People’s Republic of Korea in Pyongyang.

Com. Binayak:
We would like Com. Binayak to replace Com. Stalinpal Gulagpuri as head of the Decapitation and Dismemberment Research Institute, given the former’s first-hand experience with Revolutionary forces as well as his medical knowledge.

Note on the Bourgeois Armed Forces, Ministry of Defence and treaty with the People’s Republic of China

The continued existence of the Indian Army, Indian Air Force and Indian Navy poses an unnecessary threat to the People’s Republic of China, People’s Republic of Korea as well as other Revolutionary states, all of whom are our Class Allies. The so-called Indian Defence Forces are in fact instruments of Class Oppression that must be disbanded and all their Bourgeois officers prosecuted for counter-Revolutionary activities in accordance with Revolutionary law. We shall assign this task to Comrade Prashant as head of the Bureau for National Disintegration and Revolutionary Secession. Com. Binayak shall provide all necessary support as head of the Decapitation and Dismemberment Research Institute.

We acknowledge that Com. Jawaharlal was the first to take a step in this direction when he declared the Police to be sufficient for the needs of the Indian state, before succumbing to the machinations of the Bourgeoisie on this issue. The Maodas Foundation is confident that Com. Prashant will succeed in correcting Com. Jawaharlal’s historical error in allowing the Indian Armed Forces to exist.

Subsequently, the existence of the Ministry of Defence of the Government of India will no longer be warranted. The Ministry of Defence shall be disbanded and all its existing functions handed over to the People’s Republic of China.

Yours in Solidarity,

Maodas L. Macaulayputra, AVSSM, on behalf of the Maodas Foundation

A Scientific Proposal to Neutralize the Threat to the Revolution from the Fascist Social Media

This scientific Red Paper is the result of a detailed study in conformity with the principles of Socialist Science.

Socialist states such as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and the People’s Republic of China have benevolent controls in place to prevent excesses in the name of “free speech” and “individual freedom”.

In pre-Revolutionary China, the ancient emperor Qin Shi Huang, successfully led a Revolution by purging society of the scourge of the destabilizing, anarchist Hundred Schools of Thought.

Although somewhat harsh, Qin Shi Huang ensured the greater good and stability of the Revolution by burying 460 scholars alive and burning books as a deterrent to any future fascist activity or anarchy on the lines of the Hundred Schools of Thought.

Indeed, the modern-day Revolutionary and Great Leader, Comrade Chairman Mao reminded us in 1958 of the necessity for decisive action to neutralize Bourgeois-channelled anarchy and fascism:

Qin Shi Huang buried only 460 scholars. We have buried 46,000 scholars.

While the Sovereign, Socialist, Secular Republic of India is not a true Revolutionary state, several Comrades and class allies in India have expressed grave concern over the threat to an ordered Socialist society emanating from an unregulated, fascist-controlled Social Media which has a similar destabilizing effect as the Hundred Schools of Thought in ancient China.

Due to the power of the polytheistic, idol-worshipping, Hindutva Fascist Bourgeoisie, it is not immediately possible to take the strong and decisive measures of the Great Leader Comrade Mao or Qin Shi Huang in the present environment. It is nonetheless necessary to address the Fascist, counter-Revolutionary threat.

Comrade Sagarika opines thus in the Outlook, a mostly Revolution-friendly publication:

Untrammelled licence makes freedom meaningless. In India, if freedom is interpreted as the majority’s right to call the Prophet or Jesus outrageous names, then our harmony will descend to anarchy and only fascism will be seen as deliverance.

Indeed, a Socialist State cannot allow the names of great Revolutionaries to be besmirched by vicious, revanchist, class enemies.

Comrade Katju, ever the Revolutionary Poet, goes one step further in laying the foundations for a concrete solution in conformity with Revolutionary Socialist Science. He opines thus as reported in the New Indian Express:

Online censorship should not stop with amendments to the Information Technology Act 2000. Checks and balances against social media are necessary to curb defamation, offensive material and threats to national security, believes Chairman of the Press Council of India Justice Markandey Katju. “There should be a process of filtering content which goes online. So far, we have not been able to bring social media under any regulation as most of the founding companies are based outside India. With time, there is a need to develop technology to check what goes online,” observed Katju […]

The danger from a rampant Social Media supplanting traditional Revolution-friendly media is further highlighted by Comrade Sagarika and Comrade Manish:

Confessions of an Indian right-winger

We submit the following five-point proposal :

1. Electronic Communication License Approval & Regulation Authority (ECLARA)

Setup this organization to be headed by Comrade Markandey Katju. The ECLARA shall issue Social Media Licenses (SML) of various categories, including Tweeting Permits (TP).

2.  Criteria for granting/revoking Social Media License

A Social Media License (SML) cannot be a fundamental right but a privilege granted to persons or entities with appropriate credentials and qualifications. At any given time, the ECLARA may review any individual’s or entity’s compliance with the criteria for holding a license. The License can be revoked with immediate effect by the ECLARA. In particular, counter-Revolutionary content of any kind shall be covered by this rule.

3. Limitation on quantum of content that can be posted on the Internet

The amount of content that an SML holder can post shall be limited to a quantity to be determined by the ECLARA, with possible exemptions from this limitation to be granted for special cases. “Revolutionary Points” shall be granted to users posting content favorable to the Revolution. E.g. in the case of a Tweeting Permit, a TP holder having posted a certain amount of pro-Revolutionary tweets may have his daily quota raised from 5 tweets per day to 15 per day, for example.

4. Exemptions for minorities and special groups

It will be possible to provide total exemptions from the above limitations on posting content to special categories of users such as #eNREGA or #TwitterNREGA activists through an “Advanced Revolutionary Communication Permit“. Members of pro-Revolutionary minority religions, Communist Party members, and oppressed classes may also be provided total exemptions or partial ones such as a higher daily quota for posting content.

5. Quality Regulation

In order to ensure quality, Social Media License holders shall be required to prove their proficiency in spelling and grammar apart from familiarity with Revolutionary concepts prior to receiving a license. Poor spelling or grammar may result in a revocation of Tweeting License especially if a person or entity also falls below the minimum benchmark for posting content favorable to the Revolution. This benchmark shall be determined by ECLARA.

We demand that our proposal be studied and implemented urgently in order to neutralize the threat emanating from the Fascist Social Media.

In the name of the Collective and in Solidarity,

Maodas L. Macaulayputra, AVSSM

Eminent Secular Intellectuals Urge Ban on Scientific, Vedic Supremacism

Urgent Appeal from eminent Secular Intellectuals to liberate the South Asian Revolutionary Zone from the oppression of anti-humanity, right-wing, fascist forces.

We, the undersigned, wish to express our severe concern and anguish over the persistence of native Indic philosophy and traditions in this era of secular and socialist modernity ushered by great Revolutionaries such as Marx, Mao, Stalin, Lenin and Kim Jong Il to name just a few.

We deplore the Bourgeois glorification of Mathematicians and Scientists such as Ramanujan, an imperialist Brahmin who claimed to have received ‘inspiration’ from a reactionary goddess Namagiri. Moreover the theories propounded by Ramanujan are completely inaccessible to the masses and find support only among the minuscule elite bourgeoisie of scientists.

Abstract Mathematical and Scientific notions are used by the Scientist Bourgeoisie to cheat the masses and enslave them in the manner Sanskrit and Vedic concepts have been used by the Brahminical Bourgeoisie to oppress the lower classes.

We equally deplore the continued dominance of Brahminical culture even among several secular intellectuals who maintain their pre-Revolutionary Sanskrit identities such as ‘Namboodiripad’. Is Socialist Science bereft of any depth that prevents adequate identities reflective of the Revolutionary Socialist culture from being forged?

We note with humility that the Revolution began far before present-day Socialism. Indeed, Christianity and Islam have had great Prophets and Saviors who were Revolutionaries of their time. We welcome their followers as People of the Revolution.

However, the Final Revolution cannot be about Religion becoming the Opium of the People.

We therefore believe that the existing Revolutions in the form of Christianity and Islam are important but incomplete Revolutions. Together, in solidarity with the modern and progressive ideology of Socialism, one can truly move towards attaining the Final Revolution whose execution is incumbent upon Humankind.

The path forward to combat counter-Revolutionary conspiracies is mastery over the English language which can be made accessible to all. The masses have to be liberated from the hold of obtuse and inaccessible scientific theories that are designed to keep them in a perpetual state of servility. On the other hand, a confident, articulate and prosaic response from Revolutionaries to the Scientific-Vedic Bourgeois alliance will help defeat the oppressive agenda of the latter. We therefore laud the modern concept of ‘Goddess English’ as a Revolutionary and Secular Goddess of the oppressed classes.

Call for Action:

We seek a complete ban on events and references that glorify or justify the legacy of Ramanujan given that such activities are tantamount to pursuing the centuries-old oppression of the have-nots by Sanskrit and Science alike. We further seek stringent prosecution of any worship or display of symbolism related to ‘Goddess Namagiri’ under laws related to spreading hatred.

In Solidarity,

Maowati Kumari Inquilabeshwari, Intellectual General (South Asian Revolutionary Range)

Inquilab Singh Inquilabi, Senior Intellectual (Secularism), Inquilabi Panth Forum

Maopreet Singh Inquilabi, Associate Intellectual (Class Conflicts), Inquilabi Panth Forum

Leninderjit Singh Inquilabi, Assistant Sub Intellectual (retd.), Inquilabi Panth Forum

Maovadi Manuvirodhi Joseph, Revolutionary Poet-Intellectual and Contributor to The New Inquilab Times

Stalinpal Gulagpuri, Apprentice Intellectual, Decapitation & Dismemberment Research Institute

Stalinkumar Leninmoorthy, Deputy Intellectual General (Solidarity), Dekshin Puratchi Kazhagam

Chinnamao Maolingappa, Intellectual Ordinaire, Dekshin Puratchi Kazhagam

Maokaruppan Daskapitalam, Special Intellectual General (Revolutionary Operations), Dekshin Puratchi Kazhagam

Maodas Macaulayputra, Freelance Intellectual, Ati Vishisht Secularisht Seva Medal